What is forgiveness really? Why should I, or you, forgive anyone who’s done us wrong? Is turning the other cheek, as the bible suggests, correct?
We might say that people who’ve never experienced a huge betrayal from another person, especially a close one, will never understand what we are going through. It is a horrific experience to be hurt, to have your heart broken, to have your belief in the world shattered. The hurt can have many forms and faces.
We often read or hear that forgiving others is to giving freedom to ourselves. I think what it means is to finally focus on new things, on new emotions and feeling that we want in our life. By not forgiving, we stay in our old world were we experience the wrong doing towards us over and over again. It looks like insanity to willingly re-living what happened to us.
The truth could be, that this anger or sadness or trauma, whatever it is, keeps us safe – sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it?
But just think about it for a second:
They are the feelings we know, we got used to them and we know how to operate within them. We know exactly how this specific thought, will trigger how we feel. We don’t know how to live without those feelings even when we know they are not good for us. It can be scary to know that letting go of those emotions will leave us with an empty space which we don’t know how to fill out and/or what we can fill it out with.
Forgiving for me is a conscious act where we decide to let ourselves focus on finding what this experience has taught us and how we can use it to create a better future. Most importantly, it allows us to notice that we’ve become stronger. Not forgiving, is to give power to the person who’ve made us feel bad/sad/angry. We allow this person to still do it to us even if he/she is not even close to us, even when our circumstances have changed, even when from outside everything seems to be fine.
I choose forgiveness to make a new space for great things that can and will happen in my life. What about you?